Bullying

Since bullying was a large part of my own life growing up (getting bullied, that is, not bullying other people), I decided to incorporate it into the literature unit we just started today. I wanted the kids to know some strategies they can use for when they get bullied, and I also wanted them to know that they aren't alone.

I had the students do a quick writing assignment to get their brain juices flowing and to make it a little easier for them to open up and talk about a subject that is often very difficult to talk about at this age.

I had the students answer the following questions:
1 - Describe a time when you were bullied or made fun of and how you felt
2 - Why do you think that some people bully other people?
3 - What do you think are some good ways of handling bullying or prejudice towards you or towards someone else?

Although some of my students didn't quite take the assignment seriously, I have found most of the answers to be very telling. There have been less than five students who said that they'd never been bullied (which means that the other 105 or so have). And although some of the bullying stories break your heart, I think the most interesting answers are probably the ones that have to deal with how to solve the problem.

The vast majority of students at this age (12-13 years old) said that the best thing to do was to go tell a trusted adult, like an understanding teacher or a parent.

Many said the best way to deal with it was just by ignoring the problem, or by asking them to stop.

A dozen or so of the students suggesting fighting back with physical or verbal aggression, either by yourself or with a group of friends.

But I'll admit, it was the answers like the ones below that almost brought tears to my eyes:

"Try and look at their side of the story. Maybe they've been bullied and feel like they need to do it. Try and talk to them and become friends with your bully."

[The next one was written after the student shared several examples of when he himself had been bullied]: "Just ask him what is wrong and ask him if he wants to join in the activity."

"Tell the person being bullied to not give up if others are bullying her. I like to tell her to not give up and be strong."

"I would take the person who is getting bullied away and hang out with them."

"Be nice to them and don't bully them back. Be nice to new kids or people you just met."

"Sometimes it is really hard but you can do it. Tell a teacher or principal that you trust and that can handle the situation. Trying to be nice to them is good too. Maybe they just want a friend and no one will be their friend."

"Try to find out if they have a bad life at home, try and maybe become their friend and be nice to them so they won't be mean."

"A way to stop bullying is to include everyone in what you are doing. An example would be if you are going to play soccer in the schoolyard at lunch, let everyone play."

I was also astounded at how many of the kids wrote that some people bully others because they're having a hard time at home or in their life and that you should look at things from their perspective. Even though my students aren't quite children anymore, I often think to myself, "From the mouths of babes..."

The world will be all right as long as there are still kids like these in our schools.

And just because I have to share, this is what one kid wrote in response to that question:

"Ask your mom if you can beat the bully up."

At least he's requesting permission, right?