In Which I Become My Own Substitute

I remember this one time in 9th grade when I went from having long,highlighted, blonde-ish hair with about 3" worth of brown roots to a rich, chocolate-y bob, which seemed to put the entire junior high into a coma of change-induced shock. I mean, people in my homeroom class somehow knew about the drastic change minutes before I even arrived there thanks to the buzz of the hallways, and I felt like a movie star, or at the very least a relatively well-known politician.

I have since had the lifelong goal of making 100+ people do a double take  (again) over a new haircut.

Well, look no further, life dream--you have been fulfilled, yet again.

If you ever want to get more attention than you ever have in your life over a hairstyle change, go to a middle school.

Of course, be prepared for the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the brutal, honest, straight-from-the-13-year-old's-mouth truth.

Last Saturday I made the decision to go from a plain-Jane, shoulder-length, basic brown hairstyle to, as one woman at church put it, a "more dramatic look." Really, all I did was have my hairstylist cut off half an inch of split ends, chop in some bangs, and dye the whole thing about 3 shades darker than it was before.

You would think I'd grown an eleventh toenail, or sprouted a baby, the way the kids reacted.

Twenty minutes into first period, I heard one of my students say to another: "Go ask the sub."

You mean ME?

(Of course, once they heard my voice clanking after them and telling them to sit down and be quiet already, they knew immediately that they were sorely mistaken).

A quick summary of the day:

1. I now have several students who are convinced I look just like Katy Perry
2. Several boys came in, pointed at my hair (or theirs), and said, "You look different today. What is it?"
3. Many students stopped in their tracks on their way into the classroom and just stared at me with their mouths open, as if I were a dark-haired alien from the non-planet of Pluto.
4. And then, my absolute favorite, from a boy in my first hour: "Oh NO! You went black! Why would you do that? You looked better before."

What a great day :)

Rookie Mistake

Wednesday this week came in with all of its mid-week force and punched me right in the gut with a no-tardy party during second period and a particularly bad blend of lack-of-spring-breakness. During my second hour, all the students who hadn't been tardy once last trimester got to skip out on their classes for that hour and go see a ventriloquist perform up in the front auditorium. Meanwhile, I was stuck with all the children who'd been left behind, and they all came into class with a definite agenda.

"Mrs. Meidell, since no one is going to be here anyway, can we just play games the whole time?"

"No. Sit down and do your work."

"But Mrs. Meidell, we NEVER do anything fun in here. And besides, if we read Freak the Mighty today, then all the other people who aren't here will get behind."

"That's too bad for them. They'll have to make it up."

*pout, pout*
*lots of off-topic talking*

"Hey guys, QUIET."

*more talking*

And that's how the period started. Later on, amidst many grumbles and mumblings, we started to read the next chapter in Freak (side note--up to this point, I never had a single complaint when we pulled out the books to read. In fact, I was pretty sure they all were really liking it. Maybe that was my first rookie mistake.)

At the end of each chapter, I pause for a few minutes to discuss with the students what has just happened and to talk about some of the important ideas the narrator brings up. In this particular instance, the narrator's best friend had just made a statement to the effect of, "Pain is just a state of mind. You can think your way out of anything--even pain." After referring the students back to the line, I asked them to raise their hands if they agreed with it, and then had them raise their hands if they disagreed with it.

NOT A SINGLE STUDENT AGREED WITH IT.

Seeing as this was unprecedented (all the previous classes had been split 50/50), I was taken aback. I decided to hear them out, so I invited them to share with me their reasoning for why they disagreed.

"Mrs. Meidell, Ms. So-and-So [the health teacher] told us that it's NORMAL to feel sad once in awhile. She says we can't be happy all the time."

"Yes, I agree with her. But that's not quite what this quote is trying to say. Freak is talking about pain here, not sadness."

"But Mrs. Meidell, we HAVE to feel pain sometimes. Ms. So-and-So said so."

"Okay. I understand that. All Freak is saying here is that our minds are capable of some pretty great things, like numbing us from physical pain sometimes."

"But that's just impossible. Our brains are wired so that we feel everything. And besides, Ms. So-and-So said..."

Well. Apparently that health teacher taught a very convincing lesson. Still trying to save the floundering discussion, I decided to share the reasons why I personally agree with the statement. I tried using the example of a headache: "You know when you think that you might be getting a headache, and the more you think about it, the worse your headache gets?"

"Well duh, Mrs. Meidell. You're THINKING. Of COURSE that's going to make your head hurt."

"Okay, I'll use a different example. Have you ever felt like you're getting a sore throat, and the second that you really started thinking about it, it just seems to get worse and worse?"

"I thought you were talking about pain that's GOING AWAY, not getting WORSE."

Okay, at this point I'm starting to get noticeably frustrated. And that's when my brain jumps to the first connection it can make:

"Fair enough. Well here's an example that you might not know a lot about, but there's this thing called hypnobirthing. It's where a pregnant mom can hypnotize herself while she's in labor so that she doesn't feel the pain of childbirth so much."

And that, my friends, is when (pardon my language) it all went to hell in a handbasket.

I will never, ever live down that discussion. Now, for the rest of their lives, these kids are going to remember me as the teacher who taught them about hypnobirthing in the 7th grade.

[Random Side Note: after mentioning that a couple of my sisters have tried hypnobirthing, one of the boys in the class frankly informed me that my sisters really hadn't hypnotized themselves--that, in fact, the doctor had given them a big shot without them noticing.]

Some days you just can't win.

Bullying

Since bullying was a large part of my own life growing up (getting bullied, that is, not bullying other people), I decided to incorporate it into the literature unit we just started today. I wanted the kids to know some strategies they can use for when they get bullied, and I also wanted them to know that they aren't alone.

I had the students do a quick writing assignment to get their brain juices flowing and to make it a little easier for them to open up and talk about a subject that is often very difficult to talk about at this age.

I had the students answer the following questions:
1 - Describe a time when you were bullied or made fun of and how you felt
2 - Why do you think that some people bully other people?
3 - What do you think are some good ways of handling bullying or prejudice towards you or towards someone else?

Although some of my students didn't quite take the assignment seriously, I have found most of the answers to be very telling. There have been less than five students who said that they'd never been bullied (which means that the other 105 or so have). And although some of the bullying stories break your heart, I think the most interesting answers are probably the ones that have to deal with how to solve the problem.

The vast majority of students at this age (12-13 years old) said that the best thing to do was to go tell a trusted adult, like an understanding teacher or a parent.

Many said the best way to deal with it was just by ignoring the problem, or by asking them to stop.

A dozen or so of the students suggesting fighting back with physical or verbal aggression, either by yourself or with a group of friends.

But I'll admit, it was the answers like the ones below that almost brought tears to my eyes:

"Try and look at their side of the story. Maybe they've been bullied and feel like they need to do it. Try and talk to them and become friends with your bully."

[The next one was written after the student shared several examples of when he himself had been bullied]: "Just ask him what is wrong and ask him if he wants to join in the activity."

"Tell the person being bullied to not give up if others are bullying her. I like to tell her to not give up and be strong."

"I would take the person who is getting bullied away and hang out with them."

"Be nice to them and don't bully them back. Be nice to new kids or people you just met."

"Sometimes it is really hard but you can do it. Tell a teacher or principal that you trust and that can handle the situation. Trying to be nice to them is good too. Maybe they just want a friend and no one will be their friend."

"Try to find out if they have a bad life at home, try and maybe become their friend and be nice to them so they won't be mean."

"A way to stop bullying is to include everyone in what you are doing. An example would be if you are going to play soccer in the schoolyard at lunch, let everyone play."

I was also astounded at how many of the kids wrote that some people bully others because they're having a hard time at home or in their life and that you should look at things from their perspective. Even though my students aren't quite children anymore, I often think to myself, "From the mouths of babes..."

The world will be all right as long as there are still kids like these in our schools.

And just because I have to share, this is what one kid wrote in response to that question:

"Ask your mom if you can beat the bully up."

At least he's requesting permission, right?